Growing Broccoli out of Watermelon Seeds
by Blouper
Summary: "It's possible, you know." Kowalski says with no uncertainty.  AU, Marski .


Title: Growing Broccoli out of Watermelon Seeds.

Summary: "It's possible, you know." Kowalski says with no uncertainty. [AU Marski].

Rated: M

A/N: Title totally stolen from a Bleach article written by Debbiechan ages ago. Inspired by Bruce Springsteen's' _Born to Run_. Also, this is much less crack-y than the title suggests. Please do heed the M rating, even if there is nothing explicit in the story.

* * *

><p>"Can you fix it?"<p>

Kowalski frowns up at her. Then he nods. She thinks.

She wants to burst into tears but she doesn't. Instead she sits in the corner feeling exposed, cold and vulnerable.

Private pats her bare leg in what he assumed was a reassuring manner. It's just cold and her skin crawls unpleasantly at the odd feeling of rubber against her.

It breaks her, "How much longer?"

There is no answer, but Kowalski is writing something on his pad urgently. Then he thrusts it in her general direction.

She blinks at it, aghast.

"I can't read! I –I can't…"

And then she starts sobbing. Skipper waves his flippers around frantically at Kowalski almost panicking. Any other day she would of have been gleeful to see that expression.

It just makes her cry harder.

.-.

"We found her hiding in the Penguin's habitat. _Naked_."

"Don't worry we'll take care of her."

Marlene wraps the sheet around her closer to her body. She's tall now, but not by much if compared to everyone else.

She starts when she catches the glint of a mirror. Her reflection stares back at her, pale, with wide terrified eyes—a stranger. Someone screams, something clatters, and the illusion is lost. She keeps to herself afraid of the humans walking around her frantically.

.-.

"She has a mild case of AD." The guy speaks about her as if she's not in the room. The acronyms are lost on her so maybe she should not feel as affronted. Marlene keeps her eyes trained on the spot far off to the right,

"So what do you think?"

"Counseling should be fine."

.-.

Marlene pushes the food they gave her around for a bit. It's not bad, but she's not used to it either. She scratches where the sleeve of her dress tickles her arm, resisting the urge to rip it off.

Metal hitting metal makes her look up. She frowns. He looks vaguely familiar.

"I've come to bust you out, Marlene."

She nearly smiles.

.-.

"How did you…" Marlene can't finish the question. She doesn't know what her question is, really.

"Told them I was trying to find an otter-turned human, and that you're my sister. Let me right in."

"Oh." She says. She glances back down at her lap and then looks up at Kowalski. "I wanna go home."

He nods grimly.

.-.

They spend a long time standing outside the doors of the hospital she had been cooped in for almost three days, Kowalski frowning at a paper.

"Did you fix the machine?" She asks out of lack of anything else to say. He shakes his head curtly. He turns to the right, his legs taking much longer strides than hers. Like he had more time adjusting to his body than she had.

Her stomach clenches. She misses her body. This human one lacks protection, and she can't understand anything the birds chirp anymore. She frowns, then reaches for Kowalski and falters when she looks at his hand.

It's a _hand_ now.

"Where are we going?" Fear starts coiling in her stomach.

"Our temporary home base."

.-.

It's an abandoned warehouse. Skipper, Private and Rico are there waiting for them. Kowalski salutes quickly and starts rambling. She shivers. The old jacket Kowalski gave her did not stave off the cold trapped inside the building.

Marlene looks down at the three small penguins. She always thought they were so big. Now she could hold them with both hands.

They chirp and flap their wings at her. She stares as new tears start to gather around her eyes. Then she smiles. "I've missed you guys." She says.

Eventually, they leave.

.-.

Much later Kowalski hands her a sandwich. "Eat. The human body is extremely frail. I will continue to work on the machine."

She does. It tastes terrible, like ash. She thinks it's funny since she's never really eaten ash. It's better than the food they served at the mental hospital though, and so she chews carefully. When she finishes, she draws her knees closer to her and places her chin on them. She's lulled by the muffled sound Kowalski makes as he fiddles with his things.

Before she knows it, she's asleep.

.-.

Kowalski wakes her up. "Drink." He says as he hands her a water bottle. She tips the bottle and drinks until the cheap bottle crunches in. He goes back to work and Marlene curls up and attempts to fall asleep again.

"How long will it take?" She wants to feel reassured. Maybe he senses that. His voice lacks its usual clinical edge.

"Soon if my calculations are correct."

"Oh. Okay."

.-.

Soon is not soon enough. She's restless. Her body's weak. She starts walking around to let go of the pent up energy in her body.

"The walls are moving in!" Marlene stops, looking at the emptiness of the room. Kowalski frowns at her and sits her down giving her another water bottle and wrapping his jacket once again around her shoulders.

"That would be impossible, Marlene."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How…How much longer?"

"Soon."

.-.

Skipper shows up alone the next day. It takes her a while, but she realizes Kowalski can't understand Skipper either, but he's fine with everything else.

Skipper salutes her and then leaves.

"We have to go." Kowalski says, frustration and fear right on the edge of his words. He's putting things inside a backpack. He hands her another sandwich.

"But what about—"

"It will be fine. Skipper has it handled."

.-.

Later in the night, Kowalski knocks-out a guy and steals his money. She's hiding behind a trashcan, eyes clenched. Everything is different when you're a human. Grittier, dirtier. So _Open_she almost feels claustrophobic.

"We have to find a room." He murmurs, and Marlene assumes he's talking to himself. He taps her shoulder. She's crying again. Noiseless. It's hard to control her emotions with her new body. She's more exposed.

He nods once, apathetic, unsurprised, to her tears and walks briskly towards the other side of the street.

She almost can't keep up with him.

.-.

"One room please."

People are staring at them. She cringes when a man's eyes linger on her legs for a moment too long. She moves closer to the counter.

"One bed or two, sir?"

"Whatever is cheapest."

"Your room is on the second floor, sir. Please enjoy your stay."

Kowalski almost trips over her when he turns. He's nearly twice as tall as her. Her neck hurts from the angle she has to maintain just to look at his face. Before, it was just a tilt of their heads to make eye contact.

He frowns. Then he walks carefully around her. "Hungry?"

"Starving." She's not, but she needs something to distract her.

.-.

The vending machine is full of shiny bags with scribbles Marlene doesn't understand. At the very least, the pictures are entertaining. Kowalski peers at it with such intensity it would burst into flames. She looks at him, and then she tries to do the same too. Maybe it will. It'd certainly make her feel better.

He starts tapping buttons. They wait for a second—nothing happens.

"Maybe it's encoded." He says. Someone walks briskly past them to the other vending machine. They stare openly.

The stranger drops a few coins into the slot and presses buttons. There are some whirring sounds, then the unmistakable sound of something hard falling. The lady bends and retrieves a bottle, shooting a curious frown their way before walking away.

They both turn back to the machine in front of them with dawning comprehension.

.-.

After a bit of fiddling they finally have junk food to eat.

They walk to the room in relative silence, the bags making slight crinkling noises for each step she takes. He eventually starts talking about something she's not paying attention to, but sincerely hopes is the thingamabob that got them like this in the first place.

.-.

Their room is unimpressive. There is a T.V., a couch, a table with two chairs, a bathroom and a bedroom and kitchen. The walls are brown and the floors, made of wood, are also brown. They clash, she thinks mildly as she dumps her things on the couch quickly digging into the first bag she can get her hands on.

"EW!"

Kowalski rushes over to her, his arms in front of him, an intense look on his face. "What is it?" He asks, inspecting her over one side and then the other.

"It…it tastes disgusting!" She says shoving a chip into his mouth. He grimaces, chews, and struggles to swallow. "It's…okay."

"You have it then." She opens another quickly popping one of the small round brown sticky balls into her mouth, blithely ignoring his glare.

She smiles placidly. "I like this one".

And then promptly chokes. Kowalski scowls at her grabbing the bag from her hands and inspecting it. "I thought you liked it."

She shakes her head pointing behind him. "It's so pretty!"

Kowalski turns towards the painting but says nothing.

.-.

Marlene goes to bed after she strips off her clothes. Humans wear the craziest of things, and they pinch, itch and pull at all the wrong places. The shoes are the worst part, they make her feel confined. She wiggles her toes. They look like worms with hats.

She closes her eyes hoping to fall asleep. She can't. Marlene stares at the ceiling's slightly peeling paint finding patterns. First it was Manson, then Julien, and then she starts tearing up because she kind of misses them.

Kowalski eventually stumbles into the room much later in the night. "No luck." He tells her; aware she's not asleep.

He plops next to her. He's wearing clothes, but significantly less than he had when she last saw him. She momentarily wonders if he hates wearing them just as much as she does. She's confused about a lot of things, actually.

"Why didn't you turn Skipper human, instead?"

"Your predicament is my responsibility to amend." She has nothing to say, so instead she closes her eyes again trying to fall asleep.

"I will try again tomorrow." He says in a sharp, business-like, manner.

"Okay." She murmurs after a while. "Thanks."

.-.

Huh. Kowalski cuddles. She figured this out when she woke up from a fitful sleep, her skin feeling hot and sticky, and he wouldn't let go of her when she tried to peel herself from his now naked chest. She kicks him off the bed because she can't stand the heat, much less his arms around her in such a…intimate manner. And it was hot, she felt like she was burning inside out.

Ten minutes later she's freezing and he took the bed sheets with him when he fell. She gives up, groans and joins him on the hard floor. They share a pillow because she can't be bothered to find where the other one went.

.-.

When she wakes her mouth feels heavy, like cotton. She finds Kowalski is gone and she's on the bed wrapped neatly in the bedspread.

She grabs the sheets from the bed and curls in front of the T.V. to wait for Kowalski to come back, body trembling.

The door handle jiggles and then it creeks open, and her stomach sinks. Before she realizes it, she's right in front of him.

"What happened?" She asks, panicking as she inspects Kowalski's wounds.

"We needed money." He says almost leaning towards her; abruptly he turns to the bathroom instead.

"Did you…did you mug someone again?"

"Unfortunately. I will find a temporary job to avoid another incident like this. This body's reaction time is markedly slow compared to my old one." He flexes his hand, frowning as it just betrayed him. It may have.

"Should you…do we… What about going to the hospital?" She stands behind him as he looks through the drawers in the bathroom. Being humans is uncomfortable, turns the simplest of things into a difficulty. As an otter finding medical help only required being in need of medical help. She tries to peer over him, look at the bruises and cuts but he moves aside.

"These are minor injuries." He says finding a first aid kit. He opens it, but it's empty. He frowns at it and shrugs. "I'll just use one of the towels."

He won't let her touch him.

.-.

Marlene helps him with his injuries as best as she can while he fiddles with his machine. After a long argument that lead to another bruise on Kowalski and a promise to let her help him, she feels more calm than she did hours ago.

They're both wet and clean, and smell of mint which is supposedly refreshing, but it's a bit overwhelming for her nose. At least they figured out how to use the shower. They might as well use it together since she doesn't want to stand in there for too long and Kowalski managed to figure out how to work the knobs so they don't scald themselves. Or freeze. She misses her fur.

"So?" she asks, nudging his shoulder.

He peers at the contraption, then tilts his head in her direction, "I am not sure where the problem lies. It may be the… but then that wouldn't make sense…perhaps changing the polarity, no that's ridiculous. It may be its size; after all it was set for seeds." He nimbly bends down and, using tools he most likely stole, sets about taking the machine apart once again.

As if it was completely normal.

When the make-shift ice pack she was using for Kowalski's eye melts, she curls into the couch and watches the T.V. and falls asleep as the humans argue over something completely lost on her; something about uncomplicated relationships with amnesia and dead half-brothers.

.-.

She wakes up to find Kowalski missing again. And that she's on the bed. She's sure she passed out on the couch. Marlene repeats what she had done the day before, her stomach grumbling for something other than the salty snacks from the vending machine. She still goes and gets some anyway.

When Kowalski finally comes back, his face is red and screwed-up in a very unpleasant manner. She immediately stands to help him again, anxious.

"Kowalski?"

"You can't go out in the hall without clothes anymore." She stumbles clumsily over her legs, not quite reaching him.

"W-why?"

"Our neighbors are—they think we're. It does not matter, just don't do it."

"I hate wearing clothes though, they're so constricting."

Kowalski stares at her before he rolls his eyes. "Just use one of these then." He says pulling out a white non-descript shirt from the bag he was holding.

She puts it on with a huff. "It's uncomfortable."

He stares at her, looks away and sighs, "It doesn't really help, anyway."

Marlene doesn't understand the statement but promptly takes the shirt off and uses it as a pillow.

.-.

"What were you doing with this anyway?" She asks later that night, holding the weird thingy in her hands. If she wanted, she could smash against the wall, so fragile its appearance.

"Growing broccoli out of watermelon seeds." She stares at Kowalski in disbelief.

"It can be done." Kowalski says with no uncertainty

"You turned us into _humans_."

"I had not expected an otter to jump in the middle of my experiment."

"I didn't jump, I tripped."

He raises an eyebrow at her. Marlene huffs.

"Why broccoli, anyway?" She asks.

"Boredom."

Well. That makes sense.

.-.

When she comes out of the room to get more snacks, (wearing a shirt and everything!), she meets their neighbor. She smiles at her. Marlene tries to be as friendly as possible, but she's starting to feel weird standing out in the open and not…well she needs to be distracted at all times or she hyperventilates and starts throwing and breaking things. She's lucky her human persona doesn't transform into a ravenous beast hell bent on destroying whatever she finds, for whatever reason. Instead, she turns into a mess of anxious, jittering nerves.

"Boyfriend out?"

"What? Um, Kowalski? No, no, no," She pauses and struggles to remember the proper human reaction for that would be. She gives up. "Yeah. I don't know when he's coming back."

Her neighbor tilts her head, "Mine is too, wanna grab something to eat?"

Anything as long as it's not chips.

.-.

Kowalski nearly rips the door off the hinges as she attempts to put her key in. "Where have you been! I've spent the entire day looking for you!"

"Were you worried?" It was supposed to be mocking, but the words come out more surprised and touched than anything.

"Ye—" He grabs her arm with the intention of yanking her in, pausing. He rubs his thumb and forefinger along the edge of her sleeve, "What _are_ you wearing?" he mumbles, distractedly.

"I let her borrow some of my clothes. You guys look like you're running away. Shot gun wedding?" Kelly's laugh is incredibly tense. Marlene looks at her and then tilts her head, confused. She attempts to smile just like Kelly does, but it falters when she recognizes the hidden disgust in her posture.

Kowalski straightens up, towering over both her and Kelly, eyes narrowing. "I assure you, it is nothing of the sort."

.-.

"I brought you dinner?" She offers the bag to him as an apology. He takes it and offers his own.

"Chinese." He says. Marlene laughs, laughs for the first time in a long while. His cheeks turn red as he looks away. Weird, Kowalski blushing. Makes her laugh all the more.

They sit on the floor and across each other, distributing the food since Marlene is a picky eater and Kowalski never really complains about it anyway.

"Um," she bites her lower lip for a second, "just so you know you're my long time boyfriend who I ran away with because our parents just couldn't understand our one true love."

He chokes on his food and starts coughing violently. She tries to put on a brave smile.

"Oh, and tomorrow Kelly and her soon-to-be-husband are coming over for dinner."

Kowalski makes an odd noise in the back of his throat. It sounds…strangled. Disapproving, even.

"Kowalski," she says gravely, "she gave me her _shoes."_

.-.

He scolds her. _He_ _scolds her._

Skipper scolds. Maurice scolds. She, _occasionally_, scolds.

Kowalski…Kowalski just didn't seem like the type. "We could get arrested! You've jeopardized the vitality of this mission, what were you _thinking_?" He seethes. He sounds like Skipper.

Marlene harrumphs crossing her arms and turning her nose up. "Okay, first, this is not a mission, this is an accident, second, I have to stay in here all day wearing these uncomfortable clothes while you go out god-knows where. It's unfair. Besides Kelly is _nice_." Marlene gestures towards her shoes.

"I'll be the judge of that."

Marlene meets his unwavering glare.

Huh. Kowalski is surprisingly good at making threats too.

.-.

"Your boyfriend is a manipulative, paranoid, _jerk_."

Marlene feels her entire body burn, but can't even form an apology because. Well he ticked her off with his lecture! Still, she can't bring herself to stay mad for long, "He's a worrier, he really means well."

He's all she has now.

"He cornered me down the hall with a spoon; almost had a heart attack."

"Uhm."

"Still coming over later." That sounds a lot like a threat too.

"Oh." She's relieved nonetheless.

.-.

"YOU almost jeopardized the mission!" Her inflection was much higher and much more amused than Kowalski's had been.

He rolls his eyes hiding away his work in drawers. She would help, but she likes seeing him flustered much better.

"Minor miscalculations."

She laughs at him until he calmly mentions they have to cook something. Marlene looks at the barely used kitchen.

"Oh, um. Oops."

.-.

"Did…did we interrupt something?"

Marlene blinks. "No. Why?"

Kelly translated for her fiance, "Where are your clothes, hon?" Then she laughs.

Kowalski, who seems to pop out of nowhere, slams the door on Kelly and her quickly turning purple fiancé and pulls her towards the bedroom. "Change…just put something on before you drive us all to an early grave. Or jail."

.-.

She wears a shirt and a pair of pants Kowalski shoved her way. She had to roll them over a couple of times over to make sure they wouldn't fall off. Irate, she tugs at the hem of her shirt. "I hate these things."

"Just a bit longer. I've almost got the machine working again."

Marlene looks at Kowalski gratefully and sighs in relief. "Good."

.-.

Marc. That's his name. He won't meet her gaze but he keeps looking over at Kowalski reverently. Kowalski glowers trying, and failing, at maintaining his composure.

Kelly is less discreet, "Were you guys doing it? We could of have come later you know."

Marlene likes Kelly. She knows how to push just the right buttons to make both her fiancé and Kowalski choke on their food and well, it's funny and she desperately wants to forget she's having dinner with a human because, hey, yeah, she's human now too.

When they settle down, Marlene says, "Yes." Just to watch Kowalski's face drain of color as Marc's reverence reaches new levels.

.-.

"I like them."

"An unsurprising sentiment." It sounds a lot like an insult so she trips him when he tries to walk past her.

"Marlene!" Childishly she sticks her tongue out at him trying very hard not to laugh.

He snaps his gaze her way irritation flashing in his eyes. She blinks. "I didn't know you had blue eyes, Kowalski."

.-.

Finally taking notice of Kowalski is odd. His hair is long, unkempt, sticking up in weird angles. It's not unflattering. Not that she knows much about humans, but she thinks he looks nice, despite those awful circles around his eyes, and the stubble starting to grow around his jaw, and the fact that his chest is kind of sans hair except for certain areas.

"You're handsome." She tells him when she catches his curious gaze. His face burns, either from irritation or embarrassment, but there's a small quirk to his lips now, an air of shy pride.

She smiles pleasantly turning back to the blaring infomercial on the T.V.

.-.

Being human has its advantages, she realizes. Like thumbs! And getting the cone Skipper had recommended ages ago. It's sweet and the sensation as it melts in her mouth is tart and amazing and she thinks she'll die happy in this heaven.

Kowalski buys her five of them and later she runs around like a lunatic since she has too much sugar in her system and Kowalski is like, totally awesome, since he indulges every single one of her requests and even lets her hold his hand since she almost got run over several times by bikers and yellow honking cars.

There are consequences to so much sugar. Alas.

She spends a good amount of time behind a trashcan puking as Kowalski holds her hair back. When she's done she feels like her head is pounding and her body light and melt-y. He shifts uncomfortably before he straightens his shoulder and takes them back to their apartment. He makes no comment and Marlene is grateful.

Weak stomach, awful-smelling trashcans aside, she had a lot of fun. Has a lot of fun with Kowalski. The realization is not as startling as she would have imagined.

.-.

Marlene lies down on the bed stripped off her stained clothes. Kowalski fusses over her, making annoyed grunts and 'tsk-ing' at her irresponsibility as well as his.

She thinks it's adorable. Actually.

Deftly she snatches his arm and pulls him down. He lets himself fall twisting awkwardly so he's on his back. She rolls over and sits on his stomach, gazing down at him.

One of his eyebrows is raised. He's indulging her even though she knows he wants to continue admonishing them both.

Carefully she takes his face in her hands. He's been slowly growing a beard. It is so weird. But then again, so is this entire situation. His eyes flash curiously as she runs a finger over his cheek and right along the edge of his mouth. Marlene tilts her head and gingerly presses her lips against his.

.-.

He tastes sweet, which weird and unexpected but not at all unwelcomed and so she kind of savors it.

.-.

"I've always wanted to do that." She says into the dark. Kowalski's uncomfortable vibes resonate loudly next to her.

"Not so much kiss you, but to shut you up."

"Funny." He says cuttingly. She buries her head against the crook he makes for her.

.-.

Their routine doesn't change much. Kowalski is still missing the next morning. This time, around noon he comes back and gives her a sandwich, a 'sub' sandwich because it sounded funny and did she know there's a substation just a couple streets over, really nifty, there's an underground system too, it's really incredible; and suddenly he's talking a lot, incessant and nervous, and he has a piece of paper between them and he's scribbling furiously listing why a relationship between them is a mistake, and she's just probably confused, which happens in situations like this. One has to find ways to entertain themselves and fight off loneliness. He continues to ramble, refusing to look at her in the eye until she stops his hand with her own, because.

Well, that's fine. She's kind of nervous too. Marlene leans in watching his reaction, thrilled when his eyes drop to her lips for a second even though he's still talking—mumbling. She grins and closes the gap between them, cutting his, in her opinion, rather weak protests.

Slowly, he tilts his head a little to the side, to give them both better access and Marlene laughs uncontrollably against his mouth until Kowalski pulls back to scold her.

She wraps her arms around him because it really bothers him and he gets all flustered, and scandalized and cute, and she kind of likes to see him like that.

"Sorry," she says cheekily, "should we try it again?"

.-.

It's not long before just pressing their lips together gets boring, and both curious. Because, she's old enough to know a lot of things but she's been without for a long while, and who knows if Kowalski's aware, but whatever.

This is like a lifetime opportunity and she's interested. _Very_ interested.

So is Kowalski, she finds later, except he's a bit more embarrassed than curious, but he's still kind of excited since "humans are so strange! Their physiology is much different than penguins; take this morning for instance…"

Yeah, Kowalski's interesting alright, but she still has to tune him out. Science is fun. On small doses. On very, very small doses. Especially if Kowalski's, like, on sermon mode. So she grabs his hand, a _hand_ calloused and rough and much larger than hers, and she's still kind of nervous, but she's eager and. Well. "We should learn about our bodies, then. _Together_."

Kowalski shuts up for a second before he starts listing why they _shouldn't_, even though he's not really resisting when she pulls him into the bedroom.

.-.

The first time doesn't count because it _hurts _and is really, really _weird_, except when his hands grip her hips and he groans and looks much more vulnerable and confused than she's ever known. This is a Kowalski only _she_ will get to see, different and the same and he really is handsome in a penguin-turned-human-sort-of-way.

She runs a hand over his face, and kisses him quickly since his thrust are jerky and she can't find her balance; whispers to him, "I think I love your blue eyes, Kowalski."

He shudders, stops and nearly collapses over her catching them both with one arm and she's sure he's about to roll over and pull out, but he's cradling her face and awkwardly, pressing his lips urgently against hers and she's glad this is a Kowalski only she will get to see.

Clumsily he maneuvers them so she's lying on top of him. He's warm and hot and this time she doesn't kick him out of bed. Instead she buries her head where his neck curves into his shoulder and enjoys the feel of his skin, slick and wet against her own; of his arms as they tentatively circle around her waist.

Okay, maybe the first time should count.

.-.

Before he leaves the next morning, she quickly places a kiss on his cheek and asks him to be careful, which is coded for him to _stop being so freaking tense _because what they did last nightis written on his face. No need to broadcast it.

Hisshoulders slump as he rubs a thumb over her face carefully and gratefully and says he's always cautious, which she chooses to take at face value since this is still _Kowalski_ after all.

.-.

Late in the evening Kowalski walks in, and nearly collapses against the closed door; he holds a brown bag between them.

"Food." He says avoiding her eyes.

"What did you do?" she asks because he's restless, fidgeting with the curling edges of the bag.

"Nothing!" He responds. Too quickly.

"Did you kill someone?"

"What—no, no. Not today." Marlene's not entirely sure if that was a joke or not; she decides to believe it is a joke, and attempts to pull him towards the living room, but he flinches. Realizing his mistake, he flushes. That's subtle.

"Kowalski, what is it!" she's agitated now too, afraid. Because she only has Kowalski and if Kowalski starts acting like this, SHE'LL start freaking out too and she's had far too much time on her hands and she's used all of the stencils Kowalski gave her and she's already gotten lost like a million times trying to find the zoo, so she needs, she needs Kowalski to not—she jerks back, instinctively.

Kowalski reaches for her again, bends over, and crushes his lips against hers.

As he pulls back, he says all in one breath, "I wanted to do that all day. This is a breach of protocol, I—"

He cuts himself off. Whatever happened to him, he's ardent, and his hands moving to rest on her hips, right over where his fingerprints are now; she wraps her arms around him, hitching herself so she can also wrap her legs around him, grinning. "Kowalski! I had no idea you got off by breaking the _rules._"

He splutters, shaking his head, "That's not it at all! I—not entirely. Marlene this is serious. We cannot —"

Whatever, Marlene's just glad he's not freaking out about the things she's freaking out. Besides, "It's okay, Kowalski, I like bad boys."

Even if he's the living, breathing definition of how NOT to be one.

Private notwithstanding.

.-.

She's determined to win. It's a new game she created to stave off boredom so eventually she finds his weaknesses are his ears.

It's a complete accident, she was being far too loud and his ear was closer to her than his shoulders so she bit it to quiet her moaning. Kowalski, flinched, and grinded against her breathlessly saying, "Fuck." Which is _her_ weakness apparently, because Kowalski is nothing but polite.

It's a great night for them both, although they've gone from watching too much T.V. to this.

Kowalski gets entirely too good at it too, which is not surprising since he's a scientist and as such stares at her reactions critically, and he explores and _learns_ and quickly too; eventually she's the one biting the inside of her wrist trying desperately to be quiet since she really doesn't want _Kelly,_ next door, to hear her because back then _it_ was a joke, and now it's like, Kowalski and her and intimate and she's not really all that willing to share more than necessary.

.-.

He comes back around noon one day, to let her know he finally found the last piece to the thingamabob and they can be back to normal now, two days, tops!

Of course she's happy. She misses the zoo, even Julien!

It's just that she's used to things; the intimacy between them. Physical and emotional. His smile slips so his face transforms to a mask of acceptance too quickly. It means he's already thought about the possibilities and has decided to give her the final say.

She nods once, decides they'll make it count. "I miss the zoo, even Julien."

He smiles relieved, and for a moment Marlene wonders just how much Kowalski has missed the zoo.

.-.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah, but, but come to the zoo! Visit the otter exhibit, okay? The otter's name is Marlene too, and, and please come to the exhibit! Marlene is special, you'll see!"

Kelly hugs her and pets her hair and says, "I will, I promise."

In the end, Kelly gives her a number saying she can call or text her whenever. Later, she makes Kowalski explain to her how it all works even though they both know it is a waste of time. He doesn't mention it, instead working on the body-reversal machine with her back against his chest, the rumble of his words soothing against her.

.-.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

It takes thirty minutes to get back to the zoo, and another forty for Kowalski to covertly set up the machine. The other penguins look happy to see Kowalski, and Kowalski looks ready to burst into tears or hug them all. Probably both.

But the process is simple, by the time she blinks, she's the same size as Skipper, and her fur is back, brown and plush, she missed it so much! Kowalski is back to normal too, tapping his chin at the machine, pleased and curious all rolled into one, before Skipper slaps him on the back.

"Good to have you back, soldier!"

"It's good to be back, sir."

He catchers her eye over Rico and Private's heads.

.-.

They have a welcome back party where she learns that Rico posed as her in her absence with some very humorous incidents involving Alice, fish, and cereal. So much like him, really, but amusing nonetheless.

Kowalski recounts his days, things he had not shared with her and things he had, carefully skirting around the changes of their friendship. She does the same keeping track of Kowalski, and he of her; always gravitating back to one another. Like an unspoken request. It's weird she misses him even when he's at arm's reach.

.-.

When they can, Kowalski smuggles her back to her habitat, adrenaline and exhaustion coloring their steps. His feathers brush against her paw every once in a while. This is different now that it's normal. She's used to his human hand, is working on getting used to the non-hand now.

"So."

So, indeed. He won't go inside her habitat.

"Status quo is everything." He says finally.

"Yup." She agrees, grabbing his flipper to lean forward; he meets her halfway, awkwardly trying to figure out how to kiss her. She finds it charming, and laughs like she did so many nights ago. He rolls his eyes, just like he did then too. The tension in her shoulders finally ebbs. His face loses its wan appearance too.

It's not like they'd agreed to do anything else but go back to normal after all. It's just their new normalcy has a few added unwritten perks.

"See you tomorrow, then?"

"Yes. Hopefully you will actually succeed in growing broccoli out of those blasted watermelon seeds by then."

"Agreed."

.-.

* * *

><p>AN: The AD referenced to in the beginning of the story is shorthand for Anxiety Disorder.

Well, here we are: surprise kind-of-crack-y!humanized!fic! With OCs to boot. Hopefully this one has a different spin to an old cliche.

So, I guess I like POM in an on-again-off-again-boyfriend sort of way. I wrote this a long while ago, and decided to publish it since I was doing spring cleaning on my hardrive. Coincidentally, I read Marski fans have fallen off the face of the earth, so why not add to the low fic count so as to corrupt a few new souls and bride the others? No? Skilene still awesome? Damn.

In any case, Thanks for reading, everyone! Let me know what you think.


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